Hi Everyone! This morning I woke up with a lot on my mind as I have a big to-do list for this short holiday week. I started to feel anxious and didn't know where to begin. Does that sound familiar? You can get so busy doing things for others that in the end of the day you can feel exhausted and crave sugar, salt, fat and alcohol! You know what I am talking about :) Well, because I am focusing on self-love, I decided to use PLAY and saw that I just wanted to take a nice walk. I felt I needed to move my body, but a full-on exercise class would only stress me. And you know, that's when exercise can actually be counter-productive. If you feel stressed and look at exercise as a "should-do" in order to look good, in order to feel loved, then you are doing more harm than good. It is actually the opposite - you have to feel GOOD exercising. If you are not enjoying your time, what's the point? Yes, sometimes it may be painful, but it can feel good to break through comfort zone. You can choose any exercise, but it has to be the one that you would do even if you were at perfect weight and didn't need to workout. In order to be truly effective, exercise has to make you feel loved in the moment and release your stress, not add more. And did you know that if your exercise is causing stress, it can actually weaken your adrenal glands and cause more sugar, salt and fat cravings? No Bueno! Exercise should not be punishment that you need to reward yourself for later. Instead, it should be reward in itself that makes you feel loved and taken care of! Exercise is how you can show your body love! As I took my walk I felt inspired to share some tips and with that, here is my Day 10 video to inspired you to take time to love yourself with exercise and Let Yourself Blossom! Sending you lots of love! Alina
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Today is day 9 and I spent the whole day with my friends. I had brunch with my friend Laura, hung out with my friend Vincent and then had dinner with Meredith. I had a great time with them and it made me think how much I enjoyed their company. I loved being with them and we didn't necessary had to do anything extraordinary. Then I thought about relationships and how sometimes we spend time with people because we need something from them. We may not even like some people we hang out with, but we spend time with them because we don't feel complete in our own selves. With that in mind, Meredith and I did a little video to end the day. Sending you lots of love and unconditional love! Alina Hi everyone! I have been getting lots of feedback on my first week of the 100 Day Self Love Affair. Some very supporting and some from people who don't agree that self-love should come first. One of my friends said that my videos made her think that I don't ever want to have a partner or a family and that I am ok by myself. Well, I am definitely OK by myself. I enjoy my own company and now I am acting more and more on my own behalf. And I do want a partner and a family. But self-love will only make me a better friend and a better partner. When we feel whole, complete and perfect as we are, then we can see others in the same way and treat them as such. Doesn't that sound like a great relationship? When you can love someone fully and unconditionally without needing anything in return? I believe loving yourself will make you a better person for others to be with- you can actually love others more when you love yourself! Just like the saying goes - love your neighbor as you love yourself and that already implies that you need to love yourself first. Imagine if you hate yourself and stuff your body with foods that make you feel sick and then you do the same to your neighbor? Imagine force-feeding your neighbor with foods that are not good for them. Calling them names. And you know that we all have negative self-talk and can say things to ourselves that we would never say to others. We all are guilty of being mean to ourselves. Now, is that a good way to love others? It is time to stand up to yourself. I think it is time to be nice to your body and spirit. When you act on your own behalf, when you are kind to your body and soul, when you shower yourself with sweet words, you will truly blossom. And when you blossom, you radiate love and kindness and others will only benefit from that. Take a look at my video and let me know your feedback. I am sending you lots of love and hope you take time to shower yourself with kindness. Alina Hi everyone! Today is Day 7 and what a week it has been! Even though I loved myself before, acting on my own behalf every day has been challenging and I would often do things in order to please others. Not big, but even little things, like going to an event because someone else asked me to go, but I would have rather sat on the couch or meditated. Sometimes I would want to please my tastebuds with not-so-healthy foods, so I would recklessly eat whatever it was I thought I wanted. So, during the week, I have been focusing on actually DOING more of things that show me self-love , not just THINKING about it. Check out the video below where I share an exercise I created to help you and me to stay on track of the loving ourselves. This is not just for the #100DaySelfLoveAffair, it is for LIFE! Here is what you do: PLAY! Pause: Stop whatever you are doing. That’s all. Just pause and take a breath. Listen: Listen to your body. Reflect on the situation from the outside looking in. What put you in this situation? How are you feeling at this particular moment? Do you feel physically hungry? Tired? Anxious? What bubbles up to the surface when you allow your craving to exist? Do you simply want to dive into eating because you want to feel something on the emotional level? Pay attention to that feeling. Ask: Be honest with yourself and ask the following questions: What do I really want? What am I really craving? Do I want to over-indulge or do I simply crave the taste and pleasure of a particular food? Would my action be a loving thing for my body and my being? Will this action show me all the love I have for myself? Will it nurture my body and spirit? Will the food/action satisfy my true craving? Yes: It’s time for a positive affirmation. Say YES to yourself and do what will make you feel truly loved and satisfied. What will it be? Get creative. Turn up the music, dance, smell beautiful flowers, light up a fragrant candle. Call a friend to hear the voice of someone who cares about you. Make a list of activities that you are looking forward to doing. Do something to move you away from the unloving action on which you were about to embark. You will feel the answer come to you; from there, it’s your choice. Whatever you do, know that your choice is a powerful and conscious decision. Sometimes eating the whole cheesecake may seem like the only thing that can save your spirit from falling, even if your body won’t like it. Trust me, I understand. In those moments, just observe the action and accept yourself as human. Humans aren’t perfect. We make mistakes. That’s part of life, and it’s OK. As long as your actions were fully processed by your being, just know that with practice it will become easier and easier to make the best choices for your body and your spirit. Soon, it will become a habit. For me, it’s now an automatic process that I don’t even think about. You don’t have to strive for perfection. You don’t have to fit someone else’s image of what you should or shouldn’t be like. Have faith in yourself and trust that your desire to feel good is stronger than the desire to react to or rebel against something that happened in the past. The goal, quite simply, is to choose the most loving action toward yourself—and to feel good. Isn’t it what you want in the first place? If the act feels selfish, then I recommend reciting this beautiful poem as much as you can. I heard it at Michael Bernard Beckwith’s Agape Center in Los Angeles. I love myself so much that I can love you so much that you can love you so much that you can start loving me Try singing it out loud for 3 minutes, repeating the words over and over again. If you need inspiration, check out Michael Bernard Beckwith’s archives and live streaming of their services at http://agapelive.com. It is time to PLAY and to Let Yourself Blossom! With love, Alina Hi everyone! Today is the day 6 of my 100 Day Self Love Affair and I am seeing a big change in my mentality. The biggest one being, I really stopped comparing myself others. The pivotal point in that change of thinking came from a new friend - Frank Ferrante - star of the May I Be Frank documentary that focuses on his transformation, both mentally and physically. In this video Frank shares his words of wisdom that he shared with me. Let me know what you think! Love, Alina As I am going through my #100DaySelfLoveAffair I noticed that my approach to certain things has already changed. There is a certain power in focusing on my own well-being and acting on my own behalf. For example, I got asked out for coffee by a friend of a friend. He messaged me on Facebook and seemed to have a great sense of humor, so I thought it would be fun to meet and make a new friend. When we did meet I was shocked to see how much anger he had towards his surrounding. At times he would use 2-3 curse words in one sentence. He even laughed at my self-love project. In the past I would have been frustrated and upset that I was wasting my time. But as I focus on self-love, I found more acceptance in myself. I could almost sense the wall he has built around himself was to protect his very sensitive soul and I actually felt very sorry for his pain. You see, by being more compassionate towards myself, I found more compassion towards others. When he asked me out again, I politely declined and felt very free and powerful in my answer. "What is there for us to talk about?", I said. To which he replied :"with you, you are right, there is nothing to talk about." Now I want to say that after that coffee I ended up having dinner with a new friend and we talked for 4 hours! But the note that the first guy thought there was nothing for us to talk about didn't offend me one bit. That was his reality. Not mine. I got to choose if I wanted to be in it or not. And I chose not. I didn't need him to tell me I was pretty and validate my existence. I have the power to validate myself any time of the day, whether I look pretty or not. So, by loving myself, I felt powerful to choose what was best for me. I chose to end the conversation that was full of anger and instead chose to have a 4-hour dinner conversation because it was effortless and inspiring. When you love yourself, you are no longer a victim of circumstance. You have the power to stay or walk away from almost any situation and I hope you see that this paper is yours for the taking. There is nothing more special about me than there is about you. All you have to do is love yourself up every day with your actions. I promise you, you will feel your power and you will let yourself blossom! And if you need help changing your thoughts to truly believe in your power, then try my #1 tip to changing the voices in your head. What has worked for me is putting on my head phones and changing the tune. Here is the list of my favorite songs as well as a new video. “Speak Life,” TobyMac “Everybody,” Ingrid Michaelson “Flashdance: What A Feeling,” Irene Cara “Dare to Live,” Andrea Bocelli “It’s My Life,” Bon Jovi “F---n’ Perfect,” Pink “Roar,” Katy Perry “When You Believe,” Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey “Unwritten,” Natasha Bedingfield “It’s Amazing,” Jem “If You’re Going Through Hell,” Rodney Atkins “Wild Motion (Set it Free),” Miami Horror “We Weren’t Born to Follow,” Bon Jovi “Nothing Else Matters,” Metallica “I Will Survive,” Gloria Gaynor “Here Comes the Sun,” The Beatles “You Are Not Alone,” Michael Jackson “I Am Alive,” Celine Dion “I’m Ready To Listen,” Rickie Byars Beckwith “Invisible,” Hunter Hayes To celebrate the 4th Day of my 100 Day Self Love Affair and my day off from cooking for clients, so I took myself out to lunch. As anyone who would be deeply in love with me, I asked myself - "Sweetheart, what would you like for lunch today? How do you want to feel during and after the meal?" I felt like having a veggie curry with brown rice and so off I went to Lemongrass Asian Bistro. I got a table outside and ordered the dish I was craving. Yes, it had fat. Yes, it had carbs. No, it wasn't raw or paleo. But it was what I wanted today and I knew that it had fresh ingredients that would nourish my body. And as I was waiting for my order to be made, I recorded the video below. But here is the main message I want to share with you. I have seen many people say that they love themselves and that's why they eat all the candy, chocolates, cakes, pizzas, etc. that they want. In their eyes, they are loving themselves with the yummy foods. But is that really love? Is that really loving to stuff your body with foods that make you lethargic? With foods that make you gain weight? That make you uncomfortable to move? I am not talking about the esthetics of it either, I am talking about pure comfort and joy of life. I personally don't feel that it would be loving if someone asked me to carry a 20-pound suitcase for them all day long. That's just not comfortable. But if food that you eat has caused you to gain that extra weight, I think that food is not really in love with you and that it may be time to break up with it. I think having a one-night-stand with a chocolate cheesecake is ok, but to have a relationship with one will cause nothing but suffering, guilt and bloating. Instead, I want to inspire you to take yourself out and really talk to yourself. Get to know your real likes and dislikes. Ask yourself what is it that you truly want. Notice how you feel during and after the meal. Then treat yourself accordingly and choose foods that make you feel good. Whether you want to feel energetic, grounded, alive or calm, there are many foods that will do the job while respecting your body. And if you still want dessert, have some, but in a way that loves you back. I hope this blog inspires you to open yourself up to a new relationship with yourself and with food. It is time to fall in love with yourself, with foods that love you back and to let yourself blossom! Please let me know how you are experimenting in this new love affair and how I can support you. With lots of love, Alina In the morning of the 3rd day of the 100 Day Self Love Affair I woke up tired. Probably because I woo'd myself too much the day before by taking a yoga class, a Zumba class and a ballroom/latin dance class all in one day. I was sooo sore! I guess I was getting too much action right off the bat? Ha! Anyway, I asked myself - "Darling, what would you like to do this morning before going to work?" And what I heard myself wish for was some time in the sauna. Then as I was reading my morning emails, I read this quote: "Make up your mind that nothing is more important than how I feel now, because now is everything. Now is the whole enchilada. Now is the power of me. Now, now, now, now, now... You might as well start somewhere, and it might as well be now. Why not start improving your life now, now, now?" ---Abraham Because I am dedicated to loving myself up, I didn't waste any time and went downstairs in our building to turn on the sauna. It felt very good to sweat, but more than that it felt good to relax. To do something relaxing first thing in the morning instead of waiting for the evening. Before I would wait until I "deserved" this relaxing time, but not today. I felt worthy of relaxing activity first thing in the morning. Why wait postpone joy? While in the sauna, I felt inspired to record the video below and after sauna, I took myself for a green juice and had a chocolate Shakeology shake for lunch. After work I indulged in a mediation and stretch yoga class with one of my favorite yoga teachers and it felt amazing to center my mind and get quiet. Lastly, the evening concluded with a fabulous raw vegan BBQ Guacamole Collard wrap and I am about to watch a silly movie, cuddled up on the couch with Snoop Dog (my yorkie-poo pup). So, what are you doing to love yourself up? How are you clearing space to nourish yourself? Please comment below and let know how I can support you! I was very flattered and excited about all the wonderful feedback I got about my Day 1 of 100 Day Self Love Affair adventure. The only thing that did catch me off guard was all the comments about my looks. So many wonderful women commented that I looked pretty, but they themselves couldn't relate to going out alone. In their eyes, they saw me different from them. With that in mind, I created this video on Day 2 of my 100 Day Self Love Affair. There is not a pinch of makeup and I didn't even brush my teeth or my hair! Do I like the way I look? Not so much. Do I love myself anyway? Heck yeah! Why? Just because I am me. Not more not less. And the same goes for YOU - you deserve love no matter how you look like in the morning. I feel that magazines, photoshop skills and make up artists have created a nearly impossible image to uphold. It is somewhat promised to us that when we are skinny enough and pretty enough, we will be happy enough. Oh, please! Happiness and love don't come with a price. Happiness and self-love are yours for the taking. Whether someone thinks you are hot or not is just an opinion. You get to choose whether you take it on or not. I hope that you see me the same way with or without make up and then start seeing yourself the same way. You are worthy of love no matter how you look like. You just are! If you still don't believe me, well, good! We still have 98 days to go to prove that to you :) With much love, Alina I am so excited to start this project and to kick it off on the right foot, I decided to take myself out on an old-fashioned date - dinner and a movie. I got many comments on facebook about the fact that I went out all dressed up and alone. Some people even felt sorry for me! But I want to re-assure you - there is nothing pathetic or sad about going out with yourself. Notice my choice of words - with myself. I wasn't alone. I was with great company. I believe that once you get to know yourself better, your true likes and dislikes, without being influenced by someone else, only then will you be able to truly be in a relationship with someone. Self love and self-appreciation have to come first. Take a look at the video I made - my before, after and after-after the experience of going to the movies all dressed up. I went to the movies before, but I would hide under average clothes. This time I made a statement of being comfortable in dressy clothes, as I was indeed on a date :) How do you feel about going out alone? |
ASK ALINAWhy ask me?- After many challenges and different crazy life experiences I am living my dream life and since my friends say I am pretty wisdomous and I think I am a little bit funny too, I want to share my life approach with you so you can live the life you love as well. Here is a little bit about me: - I am a creator of #1 Best Diet as selected by Harpers Baazar Magazine - I started my career in the corporate world and didn't even know how to peel a shallot - I have been a chef for celebrities for over 10 years - I have a realistic approach to food and life - I have a great relationship with food and can even let chocolate go bad because I simply forget I have it at home (something I wasn't able to do 10 years ago) - I eat carbs whenever I feel like it without any guilt - I used to hate to cook and now absolutely love being a private chef and a food relationship coach - I wear whatever clothes I desire no matter what everyone is wearing or thinking - I am in good shape and my body’s biological age is 13 years younger than the one in my passport - I have experience being super poor, super wealthy and in between - I’ve worked in corporate world and am now an entrepreneur - I was married and divorced - I used to cry going to work because I was so miserable with my boss - I’ve had an emotional eating disorder - I moved from Russia to USA alone at the age of 15 - I’ve lived in Russia, Europe and on both coasts of USA - I have been super skinny and overweight - I have been insecure and unhappy with reasons and secure and happy for no reason - I used to wear glasses and healed my eyes with the power of thought and exercises - I created "Couture Nutrition®" so you can have tailor-made solutions for your body and soul - My brain usually comes up with jokes to soften stressful situations - I think color coordination, sparkles and rainbows are underused |